Thursday, 30 October 2008

Joke from my jokes collection 13

Q. What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
A. Run like crazy. He’s got a hand grenade in his mouth.

Wednesday, 29 October 2008

Joke from my jokes collection 12

Q. What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.

Sunday, 26 October 2008

Sunday, 5 October 2008

Future Jokes: Sikh, Sardar and Sardarji

In near future, I am going to post some jokes which some of you might consider racist. These jokes target a certain religious community of India called Sikhs. This community is very visible in Canada and England too because of massive immigration.

Sikhs, along with being a religious community, also enjoy ethnic homogeneity and, unlike many other religious communities of the world, have same religious and communal lingua franca.

A Google search can be used to see their distinctive culture in pictures.

A person belonging to Sikh community is also called Sikh. Sikhs are also called Sardars for some reason. A Sikh can be addressed using the word "Sardar" and it is mostly considered polite to do so, especially when you want to talk to a Sikh, who is a stranger to you, in rather informal way. "Sardarji" is another and politer way to address and refer to a Sikh.

A stereotypical Sikh's name always ends with the word "Singh" although in real life not every Singh is a Sikh and not every Sikh is a Singh.

For some reason, like Scots (and many other ethnic groups which I don't remember), Sikhs are also butt of jokes. A negative stereotype of Sikhs is that they are slow in brain, they have very little intelligence and/or they are always below normal human IQ. All this negativity is used in jokes about Sikhs. Such jokes are quite popular in Pakistan due to the resentment against Sikhs for their participation in bloodshed of migrating Muslims (who were on their way to Pakistan from India) in 1947-48.

I apologise to everybody in advance if you find the up coming jokes about Sikhs distasteful or bad humour. The intention of these jokes is nothing but some moments of smiles and laughs. I am not from Sikh community and my community enjoys more jokes about itself than any other.

Friday, 3 October 2008

Joke from my jokes collection 10

Female Oriented C++

struct female_professionals
double styles;
short skirts;
long time_to_understand_problems;
float mind;
void knowledge;
char non_co-operative;
struct beautiful_city_girl
double boyfriends;
short affairs;
long stories;
void greymatter;
char flirt;
struct engaged_females
double time_on_phone;
short attention_on_work;
long boast;
float on_cloud_nine;
void understanding;
char edgy;
struct newly_married_females
double dinner_invitation;
short time_at_work;
long lunch_break;
void bank_balance;
char hen_pecked;
struct married_females
double weight;
short tempered;
long gossip;
float hopes;
void word;
char unstable;
struct old_lady
double chin;
short memory;
long sighs;
void attention_from_men;
char chatterbox;
struct husband_wife_professionals
double income;
short tempered;
long time_no_see_each_other;
void love_life;
char money_making;


Thursday, 2 October 2008

Joke from my jokes collection 9

If an insect falls into a glass of Pepsi, then:

The Saudi:

Throws the glass away and walks away.

The American:

Takes the insect out, and drinks the Pepsi.

The Chinese:

Eats the insect, and throws the Pepsi away.

The Israeli:

Sucks the Pepsi from the insect before throwing the insect and drinks the Pepsi.

The Pakistani:

Accuses the Indians of throwing the insect into his Pepsi before throwing away both the insect and the Pepsi and vows to reply in kind.

The Indian:

Accuses Pakistan for helping the insect to infiltrate into the glass, supplying it with nourishment to continue swimming in the Pepsi, blames it as a long term ISI operation, terms the insect as an Islamic militant, then an Afghan mercenary and finally a Pakistan SSG commando in undercover operation and presents the identity card of the bug to prove that it indeed is a Pakistan army personnel in an undercover operation to change the status of Line of Control, shows this guy on Zee News, Doordarshan, Star TV and other influential Indian channels saying it is bla bla (some common Muslim name) makes it speak Urdu, which obviously the insect doesn’t know how to comprehend, and vows to defend every inch of the glass and every drop of the Pepsi and demands that the US should declare Pakistan a terrorist State!!!

Wednesday, 1 October 2008

Joke from my jokes collection 8

Hello Dear

Your future depends on your dreams; so go to sleep!

Imagine if your computer starts working in Punjabi then what will happen?

You will have commands like these on your computer:

Send = Sutto

Insert = Wich Paao

Attachment = Naal Laao

Edit = Sidda Karo

View = Waikhee Jaao

Forward = Aggay Sutto

Inbox = Undar Da Daak Khaana

Outbox = Baar Da Daak Khana

Trash = Mitti Paao

Sent Items = Bheji Gayee Daak

Address Book = Patay Wali Kaapy

Reply = Bejan Walay Nu Jawab do

Reply All = Saareyaan Nu Jawab do

Delete = Daffa Karo

Download = Thallay Laao

Download All = Saary Cheezan Noon Thallay Laao

Properties = Jaidaad

Connect = Naal Milaao

Fonts = Likhaai

Accounts = Galla

Drafts = Chitheeyaan

Find = Labbo

Paste = Thook Naal Chipkaao

From = Bhejan Walaa Banda

To = Door Betha Hoya Banda

Subject = Khaas Gall

Carbon Copy = Koelay Walee Naqal

Blind Carbon Copy = Anni Koelay Walee Naqal

Stationery = Pensal, Rubburd, Shaapnar

Folders = Thailay

High priority = Waddee Takleef

And finally Ctrl+Alt+Delete = Sara Syapa Mukao