Wednesday, 24 December 2008

Microsoft Excel: Overnight shift hours calculation

Microsoft Excel can be used for your work record to keep track of number of hours worked in each shift. It is useful for those people who don't work regular day jobs and have to work at odd hour and/or have to work irregular lengths of shifts. However, it is not always easy to calculate the hours of day shifts and over-night shifts using the same formula. Here is formula which will accurately calculate lenghth of the shift whether it is a day shift or over-night shift:

=IF(((B2-A2)*24)<0,(b2-a2)*24+24,(b2-a2)*24)

B2 and A2 are the addresses of two cells. Make sure that any cell replacing B2 contains the time of shift's end and one replacing A2 contains shift's start time.

Here are two examples in work:

Example 1:

Example with military style time

Example 2:

Example with AM/PM style time

The column with Hours heading contains the above mentioned formula.

Sunday, 7 December 2008

Turn Off or Shut Down computer with keyboard in Windows XP

Let's say for some reason your monitors is not working and your CPU is still running. You want to properly turn off your CPU. You can't do it with mouse decause you have no display to know the location of mouse cursor. You need to turn off the computer with your keyboard.


This will work only when the computer screen is displaying the list of user accounts. Take a look at following picture from Microsoft website for an example:

Above Image: © 2008 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.



Here are three easy steps to turn off computer using your keyboard:

  1. Hit Tab key on your keyboard. It will bring focus to Turn off Computer button.
  2. Press either space bar or Enter.
  3. Press U on your keyboard.

Now wait for your computer to completely turn off.

If you are not familiar with above screen, you might want to visit following link:

http://www.microsoft.com/windowsxp/using/setup/winxp/accounts.mspx

Saturday, 6 December 2008

Sikh Joke from my jokes collection 24

Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.

“I would like to buy this small TV”, he told the salesman.

“Sorry, we don’t sell to Sardars”, he replied.

He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned to tell the salesman, “I would like to buy this TV.”

“Sorry, we don’t sell to Sardars”, Salesman replied.

“Damn, he recognized me”, he thought. He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before he again approached the salesman, “I would like to buy this TV.”
“Sorry, we don’t sell to Sardars”, he replied.

Frustrated, he exclaimed, “How do you know I’m a Sardar?”

“Because that’s a microwave”, he replied.

Friday, 5 December 2008

A History of 666

“Do you know what 666 means?” it is almost-quotation paraphrase of a reply that I got when I sent my first email using my first hotmail address to a stranger in a hope of making an online friend who I had never seen. Surprised and mildly shocked by the reply, I thought, “I guess, he doesn’t like strangers”.

Being a Muslim and living in a Muslim majority country, I had no idea why the recipient was offended by my email.

It wasn’t until a few years later when I accidentally found that it wasn’t my email that offended the recipient; but rather my email address which had the figure 666 in it.

What I found out was that in West, among Christians to be exact, 666 is “The Number of the Beast”, an extremely unholy number. With Christians comprising less than 3% of the total population, I found very few Christians in my country and their only interest with Christianity was to be able to get into a local church without being accused of being a Muslim by the white pastor. None of my local Christian friends and acquaintances could relate anything special to this number.

Not that I believe you are curious, I will tell you the story of my email address and how I ended up with the number 666 in it.

Along with being a number in locally used decimal numerical system, which by a strange coincidence is also used internationally, 555 is also the name of a local cheap brand of cigarettes (or fags in British). I was trying to come up with an “acceptable” email address with hotmail. All of user names of my choice had been taken and hotmail was giving me all kinds of strange suggestion which mostly involved adding a number after my user name just before circular a. By the way where is it, oh yeah, found it: @.

Most of the numerical suggestions from hotmail, for some reason, involved either the information regarding my birth or then-current year. I wanted to have an email address which wouldn’t be very open about my descent to the mortal world or the animal type of then-current year. Any random number chosen by me had a very good chance of slipping out of my mind just after me hitting “sign out” button. Suddenly an imaginary light-bulb over my head suggested the number 555. With this number had I forgotten my email address, all I had to do was drop by local candy store and get a little glimpse of the cigarette-racks behind the storekeeper. Then again, I did not want to use a brand-name in my email address since I hade no promise of financial compensation from the cigarette-manufacturer for the unintentional advertisement of their product. Then the number 666 was thrown at me by the same light-bulb. It worked on many different levels. Its pattern was obviously very similar to the brand-name which I won’t be mentioning anymore. The number in writing is very similar to the brand-name which I won’t be mentioning anymore. The brand-name which I won’t be mentioning anymore is very easy to make into 666 should I make a calligraphic mistake while adorning the fa├žade of my concrete home with my email address instead of the building number. Had I forgotten my hotmail user name, all I had to do to remember it was drop by my local candy store, get a glimpse of cigarette-racks behind the storekeeper, and add 111 to the brand-name which I won’t be mentioning anymore. Number 111 was easy to remember. It was a part of almost all of local UAN’s, the so-called Universal Access Numbers.

Long story short I used the number 666 and the email address was never used twice.

Thursday, 4 December 2008

Sikh Joke from my jokes collection 23

Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters. They were planning for free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point, “Oh! We’ll get Punjab from India but how would we develop it?”

That was a difficult question indeed. Suddenly Banta Singh replied, “No problem! We’ll attack USA, it would take over us and then we would be a state of USA and we’ll automatically get developed.”

All the surds became happy on this very simple solution but an old surd did not utter a single word. Someone asked him why he wasn’t happy.

The surd replied, “Oh! That’s alright but...what would happen if by chance we take over USA?”

Tuesday, 2 December 2008

Joke from my jokes collection 22

Q. What will a Sardarji do if he wants an additional white sheet of paper? (he already has one and he wants one more..)
A. He takes a photocopy of the white paper!