Joke from my jokes collection 26

Q. Why can’t Sardars make ice cubes?
A. They always forget the recipe.

Sikh Joke from my jokes collection 25

Q. How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
A. Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

Sikh Joke from my jokes collection 24

Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.

“I would like to buy this small TV”, he told the salesman.

“Sorry, we don’t sell to Sardars”, he replied.

He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned to tell the salesman, “I would like to buy this TV.”

“Sorry, we don’t sell to Sardars”, Salesman replied.

“Damn, he recognized me”, he thought. He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before he again approached the salesman, “I would like to buy this TV.”
“Sorry, we don’t sell to Sardars”, he replied.

Frustrated, he exclaimed, “How do you know I’m a Sardar?”

“Because that’s a microwave”, he replied.

Sikh Joke from my jokes collection 23

Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters. They were planning for free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point, “Oh! We’ll get Punjab from India but how would we develop it?”

That was a difficult question indeed. Suddenly Banta Singh replied, “No problem! We’ll attack USA, it would take over us and then we would be a state of USA and we’ll automatically get developed.”

All the surds became happy on this very simple solution but an old surd did not utter a single word. Someone asked him why he wasn’t happy.

The surd replied, “Oh! That’s alright but...what would happen if by chance we take over USA?”

Joke from my jokes collection 22

Q. What will a Sardarji do if he wants an additional white sheet of paper? (he already has one and he wants one more..)
A. He takes a photocopy of the white paper!

Joke from my jokes collection 21

Q. What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies?
A. He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes!

Joke from my jokes collection 20

A Sardar goes into a store and sees a shiny object.

He asks the clerk, “What is that shiny object?”

The clerk replies, “That is a thermos flask.”

The Sardar then asks, “What does it do?”

The clerk responds, “It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold.”

The Sardar says, “I’ll take it!”

The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos.

His Sardar boss sees him and asks, “What is that shiny object with you?”

He said, “It’s a thermos flask.”

The boss then says, “What does it do?”

He replies, “It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.”

The boss said, “Wow, what do you have in it?”

The Sardar replies, “Two cups of coffee and a coke.”

Joke from my jokes collection 19

Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally, a search is being made. They find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims, “71st and again barefoot!”

Joke from my jokes collection 18

Our Sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column “Salary Expected”: He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote: “Yes”

Joke from my jokes collection 17

Q. Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
A. So you don’t have to re-train them on Monday.

Joke from my jokes collection 16

Q. What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
A. Trying to hold on to a thought.

Joke from my jokes collection 15

Sardarji calls Air India. “How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?”
“Just a sec”, says the rep.
“Thank you!” says the Sardarji and hangs up.

Joke from my jokes collection 14

Sardarji is buying a TV. “Do you have color TVs?”
“Sure.”
“Give me a green one, please.”

Joke from my jokes collection 13

Q. What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
A. Run like crazy. He’s got a hand grenade in his mouth.

Joke from my jokes collection 12

Q. What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.

Joke from my jokes collection 11

Q. Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
A. Because under 18 were not allowed.

Joke from my jokes collection 10

Female Oriented C++

struct female_professionals
{
double styles;
short skirts;
long time_to_understand_problems;
float mind;
void knowledge;
char non_co-operative;
};
struct beautiful_city_girl
{
double boyfriends;
short affairs;
long stories;
void greymatter;
char flirt;
};
struct engaged_females
{
double time_on_phone;
short attention_on_work;
long boast;
float on_cloud_nine;
void understanding;
char edgy;
};
struct newly_married_females
{
double dinner_invitation;
short time_at_work;
long lunch_break;
void bank_balance;
char hen_pecked;
};
struct married_females
{
double weight;
short tempered;
long gossip;
float hopes;
void word;
char unstable;
};
struct old_lady
{
double chin;
short memory;
long sighs;
void attention_from_men;
char chatterbox;
};
struct husband_wife_professionals
{
double income;
short tempered;
long time_no_see_each_other;
void love_life;
char money_making;
};

Joke from my jokes collection 9

If an insect falls into a glass of Pepsi, then:

The Saudi:

Throws the glass away and walks away.

The American:

Takes the insect out, and drinks the Pepsi.

The Chinese:

Eats the insect, and throws the Pepsi away.

The Israeli:

Sucks the Pepsi from the insect before throwing the insect and drinks the Pepsi.

The Pakistani:

Accuses the Indians of throwing the insect into his Pepsi before throwing away both the insect and the Pepsi and vows to reply in kind.

The Indian:

Accuses Pakistan for helping the insect to infiltrate into the glass, supplying it with nourishment to continue swimming in the Pepsi, blames it as a long term ISI operation, terms the insect as an Islamic militant, then an Afghan mercenary and finally a Pakistan SSG commando in undercover operation and presents the identity card of the bug to prove that it indeed is a Pakistan army personnel in an undercover operation to change the status of Line of Control, shows this guy on Zee News, Doordarshan, Star TV and other influential Indian channels saying it is bla bla (some common Muslim name) makes it speak Urdu, which obviously the insect doesn’t know how to comprehend, and vows to defend every inch of the glass and every drop of the Pepsi and demands that the US should declare Pakistan a terrorist State!!!

Joke from my jokes collection 8

Hello Dear

Your future depends on your dreams; so go to sleep!

Imagine if your computer starts working in Punjabi then what will happen?

You will have commands like these on your computer:

Send = Sutto

Insert = Wich Paao

Attachment = Naal Laao

Edit = Sidda Karo

View = Waikhee Jaao

Forward = Aggay Sutto

Inbox = Undar Da Daak Khaana

Outbox = Baar Da Daak Khana

Trash = Mitti Paao

Sent Items = Bheji Gayee Daak

Address Book = Patay Wali Kaapy

Reply = Bejan Walay Nu Jawab do

Reply All = Saareyaan Nu Jawab do

Delete = Daffa Karo

Download = Thallay Laao

Download All = Saary Cheezan Noon Thallay Laao

Properties = Jaidaad

Connect = Naal Milaao

Fonts = Likhaai

Accounts = Galla

Drafts = Chitheeyaan

Find = Labbo

Paste = Thook Naal Chipkaao

From = Bhejan Walaa Banda

To = Door Betha Hoya Banda

Subject = Khaas Gall

Carbon Copy = Koelay Walee Naqal

Blind Carbon Copy = Anni Koelay Walee Naqal

Stationery = Pensal, Rubburd, Shaapnar

Folders = Thailay

High priority = Waddee Takleef

And finally Ctrl+Alt+Delete = Sara Syapa Mukao

Joke from my jokes collection 7

Last month a worldwide survey was conducted by the United Nations. The only question asked was: ‘Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?’

The survey was a huge failure.

In Africa, they didn’t know what ‘food’ meant.

In Eastern Europe, they didn’t know what ‘honest’ meant.

In Western Europe, they didn’t know what ‘shortage’ meant.

In China, they didn’t know what ‘opinion’ meant.

In the Middle East, they didn’t know what ‘solution’ meant.

In South America, they didn’t know what ‘please’ meant.

In United States of America, they didn’t know what ‘the rest of the world’ meant.